THINGS THAT ARE UNAUSTRALIAN

A Venn diagram:

7 News Sydney, a 33% increase on rego fees for kids AFL team, a Bunnings with no sausage sizzle, a cafe without soy milk, a global deal on refugees, a politician who doesn't have an answer to 'What's your favourite AC/DC song?', a polling booth without a sausage sizzle, acknowledging anything [Australia] does well, Adam Bandt, Adam Gilchrist, Adani, AFL, Aldi, Alexander Downer, Alfred Deakin, amending the legal definition of 'stalking' and 'intimidation' to include online activity, an elevator using '1' for ground and 'G' for car park, Andrew Bolt, Anthony Mundine, assault on defenceless people, assaults, attacking the basic right of workers to work safely, Australia Day, Australian politicians using Donald Trump's playbook, Bank Australia, banning beach cricket, banning plastic bags, bashing people at the MCG, behaviour of the two major parties, being a dick on ANZAC Day, being a prick, being a weak swimmer, being happy when Australia is doing badly in sport, being part of a union, being racist towards your own countrymen, being swooped by a honey eater, billing for services not provided, blaming someone else, booing, booing Australian cricketers, booing injured players, booing Mitch Marsh, Book Week, Bridget McKenzie, bullying, calling that horse race the Everest and not the Kosciuszko, calling women cunts, Cameron Bancroft, caring about how other people feel, changes to the pension, charging $3 for a packet of sauce, charging for access to public parks on new year's eve, charging money for tomato sauce, cheating, children in jail, claiming military medals you don't have, cleaning the house to show off presents, closing regional post offices, communism, criticising the cooking of someone else's steak, criticising the government, culling magpies, cutting funding to the ABC, cutting workers conditions and wages so union bosses can pocket cash, David Warner, death threats, deporting Priya and her family, discrimination, dobbing, doing nothing about climate change, dropping a catch off Nathan Lyon's bowling, eating a pie with a knife and fork, enjoy seeing NZ playing well, establishing a committee to allow gun importers to review proposed changes to firearm regulations, everything, exposing the crimes of the powerful, failing to land any punches in a brawl, fascists, filming young men playing football in a public park, flags, football violence, forced association, Fraser Anning, gangs, Gillian Triggs, giving $4.6M to private schools, giving money to Rupert Murdoch, going to the bottle shop and not saying to the bloke at the counter 'gee, greeting a kangaroo with 'how u doing homies', guns, halal certification, halloween, having a conscience, having a custard tart for breakfast, having a left-winger as the leader of the LNP, having a wedding on Caulfield Cup Day, having onions on your sausage, having onions under your sausage, having two leadership challenges during the week parents are preparing book week parade outfits, Hungry Jacks, immigrants, imprisoning innocent babies and their parents, Islam, to go to the bottle shop and not say to the bloke at the counter "gee, it's nice in the coolroom", Italians, jogging on Christmas day, Julian Burnside, Julie Bishop, Kerry Stokes, Labor, lack of gov support for James Ricketson, lack of mental health support, lapel pins, lawyers, leadership spills, locking up refugees, logging Great Forest National Park, losing your land when you have a connection to it, Malcolm Turnbull, Mark Knight, Matthew Stephen, Mehreen Faruqi, Melbourne, misspelling Vegemite, Mitch Fifield, moving to Penrith, negative gearing, Neil Erickson, Neo-Nazis, Neoliberalism, nepotism, never having had a Golden Gaytime, Nick Kyrgios, not accepting a New Zealand 20c coin, not being a good swimmer, not being allowed to have a giant spud gun, not being allowed to let a cat drive, not betting on a race, not buying a passionfruit pav, not buying a round, not celebrating the life of George H. W. Bush, not eating a Gaytime cake, not finding Russell Coight funny, not giving people a fair go, not giving the lollipop ladies/fellas the thank you raise of the fingers, not having a beer with Sarah Pender, not having an Australian head of state, not having sauce on a pie, not having seen many snakes, not having the day after the races a public holiday, not highlighting the Fatman Scoop stories in the end of year #auspol reviews, not knowing Bradman's test average, not knowing Father Bob, not knowing how to swim, not knowing one Hemsworth from another, not knowing what a Pluto Pup is, not liking 'Up There Cazaly', not liking AFL, not liking cricket, not liking horse-racing, not liking the Melbourne Cup, not liking Vegemite, not offering medicare rebates for people to see psychologists, not offering your fellow motorist your parking ticket when you have time left on it, not paying LPOs correctly, not reading a Guardian article on memes, not showing the Big Bash on TV, not supporting @Loserfruit, not taking part in Melbourne Cup office bets, not teaching someone how to swim, not tuning into the ABC during natural disasters, not wanting to do play by play commentary of online games, not watching @bigmouth, not watching Australians at the tennis, not watching National Lampoons Xmas Vacation at Christmas, not watching the AFL, not watching the cricket, not watching the Logies, not watching the Sydney to Hobart yacht race, not wearing flannel, not wearing Surfer Joes, offshore detention, One Nation, Outsiders, patriotism, payments to LPOs, people using a friend's disabled sign for a better parking spot, people with PhDs calling themselves doctors, Peter Dutton, plastic cups, preferencing Nazis before Labor, preferring only Freddie Flintoff to give commentary, priority boarding for veterans on flights, projecting a horse race on the Opera House, pronouncing names correctly, protest groups, punching ambos, putting Neo-Nazis on TV, racism, racist jerks, redheads, Reflex paper, regulations on smoke emissions from wood-fired heating, removalists not bringing the BBQ upstairs, removing hot chips from the Aquatic Centre in Mandurah, removing the lord's prayer, Rob Johnson, rorting the two-tin limit for baby formula, roughing up Michael Koziol, ruining the use of g'day, Rupert Murdoch, sacking someone for a pro choice view on abortion, sausage sellers run-out of bread at Bunnings, sausage sizzles using a roll instead of a slice of bread, saying multiculturalism is a failure, Scott Morrison, Senators who shook hands with Fraser Anning, serving sub par pub food, Sky News, standing for the anthem, standing up, standing up for men's issues, stealing donations from a drought fund, stealing from people's bags at the beach while they're swimming, Steve Smith, stopping people taking the piss out of politicians, storing your Vegemite in the fridge, supporting bill shorten, supporting India, supporting Lauren Southern over local conservatives, supporting New Zealand, supporting Nick Kyrgios, tarring a whole community because of the actions of a few, the absence of bananas in a packet of Allen's lollies, the attack on Pakistani students, The Australian (newspaper), The Australian Christian Lobby, The Australian Conservatives, The Australian Human Rights Commission, the behaviour of both major parties, the behaviour of the mainstream media, the Cashless Welfare Card, the denial of human rights, the Foxification of Australian media, the Government, The Greens, the Liberal Party, the Liberals of Warringah, the live export trade, The LNP, the MCG pitch, the racial abuse of Adam Goodes, The Turnbull family, the unironic use of 'unAustralian', the vandalism of a Hindu temple, throwing your mate under the bus, Tim Soutphommasane, toasting fairy bread, Tony Abbott, too many insects, Trial by media, trickle down economics, Unions Australia, using cricket skills to win shit, using the Albert EFTPOS tablet, using the term 'final solution', using the term UnAustralian, Vegemite popcorn, voting for Damien on Survivor, wanting another Cronulla style riot, wanting England to win, wanting India to win, Wicked Camper Vans, wimping out, work for the dole.